I’ve Been In My Brain

Some of you may have noticed the distinct lack of posting on the website lately.  The really sad thing is that I actually have written a few posts, I just never got around to uploading them.  Why?  Because I have been in that place where the voices that dwell in my brain get the most audio bang for their buck.

In short, I’ve been in a long, slow burn of a depressed state.

The really stupid thing is that I’ve been having a pretty good run lately.  If you have seen any of the recent postings on the
Zuckerberg Experiment, you’ll know that I had a great time celebrating my birthday with friends and family, got to see my dad and youngest sister one week and then my oldest sister and her family the next.  I’ve been to the zoo twice, once in the evening when the animals were active1.  The Mrs surprised me with VIP tickets to the Highland Games where I got to see two of my favorite bands AND partake in a whisky tasting.  I had a fairly favorable review at work and celebrated my one year anniversary there.  I closed submissions to the next DRP antho early due to the huge number of great submissions.  I will start the editing process there as soon as I finish editing the GLAHW anthology.

In short, I’ve been keeping busy and there has been no shortage of fun, happy things in my life.

And yet...

I hope that this does not come off as one of those whiney, privileged sounding rants.  I’m not feeling bad because I feel like I don’t have enough.  I totally recognize that I have been blessed with a wealth of good fortune.  I’m not listing the nice things that have happened to show what I a prat I am for not appreciating them.
2, I do appreciate them.  I’m listing them to illustrate that one can feel down despite ones good fortune.

There is something wrong with my brain chemistry.  Somewhere deep in the circuitry, there is a little glob of solder, an incorrect connection.  I’ve been dealing with this for years now, via therapy and a variety of medications.  Sometimes they work better than others.  This just happens to be one of those “others” times.

I am also not looking for sympathy, just a little understanding.  If I disappear from the interwebz for a while, you know why.  If I seem like more of an asshole than usual...well, that will be tough, but if I do, please don’t take it personally.





1  And the wolves were howling.

2  I’m not denying that I’m a prat, just for different reasons.