Rumors of the Website's Demise

I was sitting at my desk the other day, organizing things for Penguicon and the panels that I’m going to be on. Yes, I realize that the convention is more than a month away, but I like to get things squared away. It assuages the CDO (OCD, but with the letters in alphabetical order like they should be). I have plenty of ribbons from last year, so I am all set there. One stack has the GLAHW moto “Don’t Be Afraid, Be Terrified.” The other has this website’s address. I was kind of excited about the idea of driving people to the website when a thought slammed into my head.

“You know, if people are going to be checking out the website, you might want to put up some new content.”

Damn.

Yes, I realize that almost a quarter of a year has passed since I last updated the website or posted to either of the blogs. I do have a perfectly legitimate explanation.

You know what it is like when you look down at your odometer and realize that you are a few miles over the number on the little sticker reminding you to get an oil change? At first it isn’t that bad. You can go to the dealer any day so you put it off a little while longer. Soon you are at the point where you feel like you need an excuse but you can’t come up with one so you put it off and put it off...

Or like when you receive a gift and that little voice that sounds just a little like your mother tells you that you should send a thank you card but how often does one get to the card store? Then you finally get to the store but it’s been weeks so you stand there wondering if you should get a “belated” thank you card if they even make such a thing. You buy the card, but you feel like a heel for not sending it earlier so you put it off and put it off...

Or like when you don’t update your website for a while. You announced that posts would come at irregular intervals so you don’t feel bad for the first few weeks. Then you notice that a month has gone by and you have not posted and you should really start off with an excuse as to why you haven’t posted but you can’t think of one so you put it off and put it off...

So, there’s that.

Honestly, I spent a lot of time off-line. Those of you who follow me on other websites know this. The past few months have been relatively Tweetless. Facebook went unupdated. There was some lurking here and there, but very little participation on my part.

Don’t feel bad, it wasn’t just you I was ignoring.

Much of this electronic withdrawal was the result of depression. The first set of holidays without Dervish were very difficult.

The healthy thing to do when I start one of these spirals is to reach out to people to help buoy my moods. So naturally I do the opposite and pull away.

Interestingly enough (at least to me), it wasn’t just my participation on social websites that flagged. I have a set of bookmarks, comics, other people’s blogs, bulletin boards, that I checked every morning. It was part of my morning ritual: stumble downstairs, take my pills, grab a cup of coffee, and look at something which makes me smile. I stopped looking at these as well. It was even difficult for me to write.

On the up side, I got to spend a lot of time reading. In fact, reading is part of what got me back on-line. I felt compelled to review every book that I read on
Goodreads. From there to Twitter and Facebook and finally here.

What made it easier to finally jump back in is that there is plenty of good news to share. Because it has been even longer since I updated The nth Word I am going to put all of the writerly good news over there. For the other news, go ahead and hit that next button. Or just click here.

(Don’t get me wrong, there was plenty of good stuff which happened in between. R’s birthday was a blast which she managed to stretch out for more than a week.)